On the EDge: When victims are shamed into silence

October 1, 2018 Utah Channel 3

OPINION — I can understand why Republican senators have been so strong in supporting Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination for a seat on the U.S. Supreme Court.

These are rich, old, white men of privilege.

Their wealth and power has removed them from the real world where it can get gritty, a realism that stains the soul with shame and regret, a life of exclusion based on how fat the black ink in your savings account is, where due process sounds good on paper, but doesn’t always occur when the rubber meets the road.

It’s a society of formals and tuxes while the rest of us labor in dirty jeans and T-shirts.

And, when it comes to women and their place?

They prefer them barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, cookin’ up the bacon and beans.

That’s the world that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford stepped into when she faced a Senate Judicial Committee conducting Kavanaugh’s job interview, alleging sexual impropriety by the SCOTUS nominee.

This is a strong, intelligent woman who earned a degree in experimental psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University, a Ph.D. in educational psychology from the University of Southern California and a master’s degree in epidemiology from the Stanford University School of Medicine.

She is currently a professor of psychology at Palo Alto University and a research psychologist at the Stanford University School of Medicine.

Still, she was visibly shaken as she gave her testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

That a woman so polished, so accomplished, so strong would hesitate and remain uncertain while telling her story is telling.

That is why she waited so long to say her piece.

She knew how polarizing her moment would be, how the room would be tilted with doubters, with good ol’ boys ready to forgive one of their own, with political hacks whose morality resides in the gutter, with old, white men.

She knew how it would play in the court of public opinion, yet still found the courage to step forward.

“I am terrified,” she said during her opening statement.

Now, imagine a woman of humble means and demeanor.

Would she have the strength to stand up to the catcalls, the debasement, the doubters, the politically motivated, even on a local level?

Throughout this Kavanaugh process, we have heard the righteous right claiming innocence until proven guilt. But, in the case of a woman making claims of sexual misconduct, there is no symmetry. We are forced to take a side and considering how the deck is stacked against women who are brave enough to face their abusers it is easy to understand why most are reluctant to come forward.

So they remain silent.

The buzzword parroted among the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday was “credible. Christine Blasey Ford was a “credible” witness we heard.

But, they could not disguise their sexism.

Even Utah’s overripe Sen. Orrin Hatch couldn’t hide his misogyny while trying to put on a good face.

During Thursday’s lunch break Hatch was asked if he thought Ford was credible.

“It’s too early to say,” Hatch responded. “I don’t think she’s uncredible. I think she’s an attractive, good witness.”

Hatch was asked what he meant by “attractive.”

“In other words, she is pleasing,” Hatch said, re-victimizing the victim with his sexist patter. “I can tell you this, she’s attractive and she’s a nice person. And, I wish her well.”

Excuse me while I try to wash away the image of Orrin Hatch with a fedora and flasher’s trench coat stepping out of the shadows to leer at a woman who strikes his fancy.

The one thing that holds with victims of sexual abuse is the feeling that somehow, what occurred was their fault, that they are to blame for some perv forcing himself upon her, that she somehow is responsible for the attack.

In recounting their stories to the authorities, they must relive the traumatic experience, go back to that place that is burned into their memories and remember the sights, sounds and most intimate details of the assault, then repeat them in a roomful of strangers, often mostly old, white men, the same old, white men who were leading the jeers against women when the #MeToo movement took root. Their mockery of those women was repulsive.

According to official numbers from the state, nearly 10 percent of Utahns reported that someone had sex or attempted to have sex with them without their consent in 2016.

The state also reported:

One in three women will experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime. Rape is the only violent crime in Utah that occurs at a higher rate than the rest of the nation. Studies show that one in eight Utah women will be raped and one in 50 Utah men will be raped in their lifetimes. According to Uniform Crime Reports, the rape rate in Utah has been consistently higher than the U.S. rate. In 2014, Utah’s reported rape rate was significantly higher than the U.S. rate (67.7 and 51.9 per 100,000 females). However, the majority of rapes – 88.2 percent – are never reported to law enforcement, indicating that sexual violence in Utah is grossly underestimated.

Why?

Because the Utah culture holds women responsible if a male makes inappropriate sexual advances. It is argued that the woman dressed immodestly, was flirtatious, had a “reputation,” whatever that might be and the poor guy just couldn’t help himself.

Or, the victims are simply ignored.

Maybe the accused is the star quarterback on the high school football team.

Maybe the accused is the son of a prominent citizen.

Maybe the victim is a woman of color or of a different faith.

The reality is a trail of shattered lives, lives that lose their innocence, their promise, their love for life, victims shamed into silence.

It’s time to listen, to not just shrug our shoulders and say, “boys will be boys.”

It’s time to make life safe and secure for all of our women.

No bad days!

Ed Kociela is an opinion columnist for St. George News. The opinions stated in this article are his own and may not be representative of St. George News.

Email: edkociela.mx@gmail.com

Twitter: @STGnews, @EdKociela